Every senior who signs up for a singles cruise hopes for a shipboard romance, maybe as happened in the Cary Grant-Deborah Kerr 1957 movie, “An Affair to Remember.”

Some sailing singles do succeed, and as in ads for romance websites like eHarmony.com promise, they marry and live happily ever after. However, often under the starlight on deck above a sparkling sea, many women fall for false stories told by single, or say they’re single, senior guys.

Most of the fibbers are guys, but not all. To help you sort out phonies from the realies on your next singles cruise, here’s some advice:

1. Most of his personal info he tells you is false, and so is his hair.
2. He says he’s an Amsterdam millionaire, but insists on going Dutch on the food and booze.
3. He stumbles around the ship’s ballroom, claiming he’s expert at the jitterbug, bunny hop and all the other latest dance steps.
4. Her teeth are like stars: they come out at night.
5. He wears elevator shoes, but his personal elevation long ago got stuck in the lower floors.
6. She says she has an empty nest at home, but there are frequent roosters flapping around in it with her.
7. He says he’s cleaning up on Wall Street. Actually, he’s a janitor in the NYC Stock Exchange building.
8. She says she was 59 on her last birthday. It’s true, because she’s ignored every birthday since 2005.
9. When he brags about his service record, he means his long career at McDonald’s.
10. She’s had so many facelifts, when she smiles, her ears fold and touch behind her head.

Just joking. Most on senior singles cruisers are sincere and honest. So, if you’re considering a sailing, go for it. Climb aboard and join in on the seagoing fun with all the other sincere fibbers!