Every senior who signs up for a singles cruise hopes for a shipboard romance, maybe as happened in the Cary Grant-Deborah Kerr 1957 movie, “An Affair to Remember.” Some succeed, and as in ads for eHarmony.com, they marry and live happily ever after. However, often under the moonlight on a sparkling sea, many fall for false stories told by single, or say they’re single, senior guys. Traditionally, most singles cruise fibbers are guys, but not all. To help you sort out the phonies from the realies on your next singles cruise, here’s some advice:

1. Most of his stories are false, and so is his hair.
2. He says he’s a millionaire, but insists on going dutch on the drinks.
3. In the ship’s ballroom, he says he’s up on the Lindy Hop and all the other latest dance steps.
4. Her teeth are like stars: they come out at night.
5. He wears elevator shoes, but his Otis long ago got stuck in the lower floors.
6. She says she has an empty nest at home, but there’s always some strange bird flapping around in it with her.
7. He says he’s cleaning up on Wall Street. Actually, he’s a janitor in the New York Stock Exchange building.
8. She says she was 59 on her last birthday. It’s true, because she’s ignored every birthday since 1985.
9. He brags about taking male enhancement drugs, but the only thing that gets stiff these days is his back.
10. She’s had so many facelifts, when she smiles, her ears fold forward.

We’re just joking. So, if you’re thinking of signing up for a singles cruise, go for it and join in on the fun with all the other fibbers!