1. Airport security check-in is a quick feel before you board.
2, The captain’s name is Orville, co-captain is Wilbur and flight attendant is Amelia.
3. You trip over empty beer cans as you make your way to your seat.
4. A mechanic winds up the propeller before take-off.
5. If there’s an in-flight emergency, the attendant tells you to bend over, grab your ankles and kiss your butt goodbye.

6. The in-flight magazine gives current news about the sinking of the Titanic.
7. The inflight movie is a non-talkie starring Rudolph Valentino.
8. Tomorrow the plane you’re on gets traded in for the cash for clunkers deal.
9. The attendant comes out of the cockpit and asks if there’s anyone aboard who can fly an airplane.
10. The onboard toilet is coin-operated. (No joke; this may soon be required by many airlines)