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Humor: Five Ways To Tell You’re Eating Horse Meat


There has been considerable speculation lately about American meatpackers and restaurants slipping horse meat into their menus without identifying it. Although horseflesh has been an acceptable food in many countries around the world, it is still frowned upon by most American diners.

Therefore, as a service to our traveling seniors who are against eating a Dobbinburger or Seabiscuit steak, here are ways to tell when you suspect the meat on your plate once ran at Churchill Downs. It may help the next time you’re traveling in France, Belgium or Italy. People there consider horse meat a delicacy, but it’s not for you.

1. Before you sit down, you exclaim, “I’m so hungry I could eat a horse!” Then the waiter says, “Funny you should mention....”

2. When you try to cut into your flank steak, you hear a plaintively negative “Neigh”.
.
3. Completing the horse meat dinner, you suddenly get up, whinny and run the mile in 1:34.

4. An hour after eating equus, you feel a sudden urge to watch a John Wayne movie.

5. You realize Hamlet asked the ultimate question about whether it was horse meat at Elsinore: “To be or not to be, that is the equestrian!”

(To our senior travelers: Hope the lame humor gives you a horse laugh!)
Nashville TN: Airport Bouquet Dispenser PDF Print E-mail


A bunch of fresh flowers is a good way to impress a departing lover or to greet your arriving squeeze at the airport. Just be sure they don’t find out about each other!

Nashville International in Tennessee is one of many airports in the U.S., now including Las Vegas, with refrigerated 24-Hour Flower vending machine bouquet dispensers. Prices start at $10 per bunch. For more information, go to 24h-flowers.com
 
Where the $#@#$ is the nearest @#$# hotel? PDF Print E-mail


When visiting one of the top ten U.S. cities that have the most cursing citizens, the blue air may help. You can then feel free to tell off misbehaving cabbies, waiters, hotel clerks  and others in the same foul language.

So, next time you’re there, prepare to cuss in these $#%& cities, according to a recent Wall Street Journal report, listed in rank ... very rank ... order:

Washington DC: Who wouldn’t curse in a @#$% town full of $#% politicians?
Denver CO: Every time I visit, I get a %#$@ Rocky Mountain high!
Chicago IL: This &%@ city ain’t been the same since &*%$ Al Capone croaked!
Los Angeles: Movies today have too much #$#@ cursing!
Boston: Paul Revere yelled, the %$%# British are coming!
Atlanta: Whatever happened to the %#$ Falcons?
Minneapolis: Holy @#$, it’s minus 115 degrees today!
Phoenix: Holy $#%, it’s 115 degrees today!
New York: The big %^& apple!
Philadelphia: The %$# City of Brother#%# Love
 
Airlines Squeeze In More Passengers Seats PDF Print E-mail


According to The Boston Globe, an oft-told story is happening again. In their efforts to boost revenue, some airlines are redesigning their cabins to fit in even more seats. The results are, particularly in the tourist class areas, less space and more discomfort.

Our favorite airline, Southwest, may be the most ambitious to have their passenger sections imitating sardine cans. The Globe reports that SW cabins now have six more rows of seats than previous arrangements.

SW’s announcement claims adding of the new rows was because new seat designs of thinner, lighter materials actually make them more comfortable. Yeah, sure, says this frequent SW flying sardine.
 
Shanghai, China: Hotel Pool In The Sky PDF Print E-mail


If you plan to be in this sparkling, modern city any time soon, drop in on the Holiday Inn Shanghai Pudong Kangqiao. If you’re brave enough, take a dip in the pool on the 24th floor.

It has a clear glass bottom, and some of the pool construction extends out over the street and traffic far, far below. When swimming in it, you may feel you’re floating free from all care way up in the sky. For more information, go to holidayinn.com/hotels/us/en/shanghai/shgpd/hoteldetail
 
Albuquerque, New Mexico Balloons Fill The Sky PDF Print E-mail

 
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