Most frequent flyers have had the experience. You squeeze into a tight seat for the long flight. You've brought along your electronic gizmo to do some work.

Then it happens! A 400-pound guy (or gal) stashes his carry-on just above you. You pray he won't be your seatmate. Your prayer is not answered. You get up and he attempts to slide past you to the window seat, heavy flab smooshing your face.

He plops down and instantly overflows into your space. You're squashed in and the arm rest is now covered with his bulk. In that unhappy situation, must you grit your teeth and suffer through the flight? What are your choices?

We’ve met ‘em all in high- and low-class eateries around the world. Of course, most waiters are efficient, friendly and helpful. An annoying few are snooty, angry, lazy and/or slovenly.

There are effective ways for dealing with a rude waiter. However, even if you have the urge to do it, tripping him (or her) as he goes by with a full tray of food-filled dishes is not the best way. There are gentler strategies. For example...

First, give the guy the benefit of the doubt. He may be upset because he's having personal troubles that day. Also, he may have just served a table full of bratty kids who threw food all over the place, and then the family left without leaving any tip.

If you believe your waiter hasn't done his job with you, tell him politely you're unhappy with the service. This should work on most waiters, especially if they've just been stiffed with no tip.

If the waiter seems determined to be uncooperative, no matter how politely you at first asked for decent service, you could match the rudeness. Look very closely at the silverware, make a wry face and ask the waiter to immediately get you clean utensils. When the waiter serves you soup or a food platter, complain that the ingredients are too hot, too cold, too salty or too spicy. Cruel strategy, but could be effective.

We've done both, and as we get older and wiser we prefer independent travel. The annoying thing about guided tours, especially multi-day bus trips, is that it seems most of the daytime is taken up on the boring roads. Then, tired and sweaty, we arrive at the hotel in time to shower, eat dinner and go to sleep. Then, the next day, it is the same routine all over again.

Also, on guided group tours every meal is a line up and wait ordeal. Once, on a bus tour in Canada, when we dragged ourselves off the bus and were herded like a flock of sheep into the restaurant, the tables weren't quite ready for us.

A large group of foreign tourists were finishing dinner, and we were told they would soon leave. They didn't soon leave. They were determined to drink more cups of tea, extend conversations or whatever. We waited in our prisoner line for an hour, and the diners could clearly see us there.

We often get questions from seniors considering their first international trip. Here is some basic advice to help make that journey safe and enjoyable.

Prepare: While planning, check with the US State Department site www.state.gov for passport info and any travel advisories that apply to your anticipated itinerary. From a trusted local travel agent, you’ll get valuable help. Careful research will make your trip more economical, relaxed and enjoyable.

Documents: You’ll need a passport with at least 6 months remaining before expiration. Make several copies of data pages and give to family and/or friends in case of problems. Pack another copy in your luggage, but not with the original passport.